The Motivation Mama!

Motivation Mojo Solution: What to do When you Get Upset

What to do when you're upset

This weeks quote comes from the truly marvelous book "Conscious Loving" by Gayand Kathlyn Hendricks. 

"When any problem occurs, you have two choices: you can get upset about it, or you can simply figure out what needs to be done. Getting upset has a seductive quality to it; there is rich drama to be had there.  The cost is that there is no happiness to be had. Happiness opens up when you drop the drama and start looking for what needs to be done.  Any relationship improves when both people shift from complaints to statements of what they want."

I've reread this book many times and I always find some new juicy nugget that is so very applicable to my life and my clients.  When we're upset it can be quite difficult to think clearly.  I love the two choices option that the Hendricks point out. Get upset our figure out what needs to be done.  As you are working to figure out what needs to be done, another thing you can do to ask questions of yourself. For example: How is the past coloring my present?  What are you getting out of staying stuck? What do I need to say?  What agreements have I broken.  How can I be of service (like how can I help this person reach their goals)? 

Since getting upset is a part of the human condition, I recommend that we all get into the practice of choosing to figure out what needs to be done and asking these questions to help us clarify things and resolve the situation.

Remember that time is precious. Do your happy dance. Enjoy life!

Managing Negativity with The Four R's

Negativity sucks, so manage it!

Negative thoughts, Negative people, negative messages, negative images... negative, negative, negative, negative.  See, even reading the word negative to much creates an energy of adversity.  Phew!  My belief is that negativity sucks so we all need to manage it.  

The word has such a super wicked vibe that I advocate using the 4 R's to help manage negativity. 

The 4 R's are: Remove, Replace, Recast, & Revive.

Remove - negative people from your life. Negaphobs are an energy drain.  They create static in your mental and physical space that will cut you off from your focus and undermine the work you've done to get yourself moving in a positive direction.

Replace - your own negative thoughts with positive affirmations, images, and messages.  Yes you need to continually affirm the positive in your life.  Your mind is the most important tool you have because there's nothing that exists that wasn't a thought first.  You can think your way to what you want.  Why?  Because you've done it before.  You do it everyday and you're doing it right now. 

Recast - something that you're seeing as negative into a positive light. (don't' push for this, only apply this if it doesn't violate the 1st two R's) [thanks for this one @crazyonyou from twitter]

Revive - yourself with self care that restocks your energy, your spirit, and shifts your mindset toward loving kindness.  Indulge in hot soaks, massages, nails and hair done, read a good book, or do some yoga.  The point is to do something that focuses your energy on you and taking care of yourself... well!

Remember, time is short. Do your happy dance.  Enjoy life!

Taking Stock Of What You Really Know

Recently in my 21 Days of Motivation virtual workshop, the participants had the task of identifying their innate abilities and talents. One participant said that she didn't know much about herself and was really struggling with the exercise.  So I gave her an exercise that was literal in it's application.  She was to literally write down the obvious.  What does she know about herself physically. Literally note what she can see. What color is her hair, eyes, etc.  Then she was to move on to what does she know about her personality?  Is she funny, shy, pensive, etc.  This exercise is designed to get her out of the false relationship with her limiting belief that she doesn't know anything about herself.  After she's gotten into a rhythm of noting what's obvious, she can begin the introspective work of assessing what her innate talents are and she can confront the conditioning that's told her she's not good at anything.

Taking stock of what you really know is a great way to thwart the power of limiting beliefs and get you back into relationship with your self and your power.

Remember, time is short.  Do your happy dance.  Enjoy life!

Unethical Educational Sabotage.... Injustice Pisses me Off!

This photo of my son was taken when he was not quite 2 years old.  The light shining from his eyes is bright and the joy in his cheeks in full, which makes me know that's what he was experiencing in his heart.  This was 14 years ago.  Today my son is a very-tall 16 year old and the proclivities of some people in this world have dimmed some of the brightness and joy that used to shine from within.

I feel guilty, which is good, I guess, because in part it's guilt that motivated me to finally take action. 

What would you do if your child was enrolled in three classes where there was no teacher and at the end of the grading period, the chairman gave your child a "C" in each of those classes but couldn't provide any written justification for why your child received the grade?  What would you do if this same thing was happening to 27 students at your child's school.  That's the 27 that you know about?

Well, unfortunately for a whole year I did nothing.  Partly because I felt powerless and partly because I believed the Administration when they said things were going to be different.  Well, the end of the first grading period has just happened and things remain the same.

When a wrong is done to our child, in our hearts we see the little self, like the picutre of my son above.  We see the sweetness of joy and yet to be realized potential and that's what makes us want to protect and support them as they/we navigate this world.  They say there is nothing worse than a mother who's child has been wronged.

When young people, teenagers in particular (who already have it bad with the pervasive negative stereotypes they face), are being disenfranchised by a sloppy and unethical educational system I cannot sit silently and wait any longer.  I have watched the frustration level build in my son and his peers.  Confused by the misrepresentation and being held to weak articulation of what is expected of them they often flounder as people in unstructured situations do.  When I ask my son why did he get a "C" in his class (with no teacher), perplexed, he shrugs his shoulders mumbling "I don't know."  And I cannot question him because nothing has been provided for him or I to follow. No rubric, no content standards, no expectations, no evaluation or assessment criteria.  No teacher.  Nothing but verbal observations on the part of the chairman and one great designer but ineffectual teacher who can only manage to say that there's a lack of leadership being displayed. 

This is not the rant of one mother in defense of her son, but the pissed off response to discovering the depth of educational sabotage that is occurring to the children who are our future.  To children who deserve way better.  Happening to my child and it frightens me.  It angers me.  It motivates me to demand change! 

I ask you again, What would you do?  Please share your suggestions and responses in the comments section below.