The other day on facebook, someone left me a question about how to deal with a difficult person:
"While I am thankful to my higher power and the universe for my job, as I love what I do. But what happens or what does it mean when you have an antagonizing supervisor, someone who is not really for the growth of staff, never admits when they're wrong and is too good to participate in anything beneath her current title? I allowed her to pull me out of ME for a long while. How do you deal until you can do better Ms. Hart?"
Maybe you're facing a similar challenge and you also feel like instead of thinking of positive solutions to the problem, you'd rather sell tickets to your own personal boxing match! Well, I know how you feel. Several years ago, I faced a similar situation and I used what I learned from that situation to create "5 Tips to Help you Deal with Antagonistic People (with class!)."
In additon to Life Coaching, I've spent the past 14 years as a theatre professor and in our profession, the antagonist is always the peson who creates opposition for the hero. Actually, this definition is part of the reason we all have such a difficult time figuring out how to deal with and be around antagonistic people. We are the "star" in our own life and typically anything or anyone that doesn't support our sense of ourselves has to go, and quickly. Once we step back from our star status and see the antagonistic person for who they really are at that time, as a hurting imperfect human being, than we can put into practice one or more of the 5 tips.
Antagonizing people can be the worst, but its also an opportunity in one heck of a disguise! I previously worked with two people very much like the person you describe and I would do anything to avoid them, but that was virtually impossible. It was the most challenging thing (at that time) for me to be kind to them, when they weren't inclined to return the energy. However, I decided to speak to them and treat them as if their behavior did not matter. I reasoned that they were not in control and that God was. I also reminded myself that they were not physically harming me.
1) minimize your contact with the person as much as is naturally acceptable
2) treat them with kindness and appreciation whenever you are around them. This means you will need to first think these genuine thoughts.
3) continue to execute the job God has entrusted to you with excellent stewardship
4) release all feelings of hurt and anger towards them because as you project your thoughts of anger/frustration/disappointment that is what you are attracting back to yourself from them
5) Remember the essential truth of the law of abundance - what I want for myself I want for everyone else. There is no limit. So, on a daily basis pray that your supervisor receive her hearts desire.
What positive techniques have you used to help you work through a difficult and challenging person in your life?
Remember, time is precious. Do your happy dance. Enjoy Life!
